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[ website | A Black Rose Burial ]
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...and since forgotten. [19 Feb 2006|06:21am]
[ mood | bored & in thought ]

I'm living off a big variety box of cookies and milk... and alcohol.
Actually, there's a ton of food here. I like living alone...
If anyone wants to do something this week, lemme know.

February 21, 2006
The Pound SF

100 Cargo Way (pier 96)
San Francisco, CA 94124

Animosity (headlining)
Through the Eyes of the Dead
Ed Gein
The Number 12 Looks Like You
A Black Rose Burial

6:30pm / All Ages / $10

~ ~ ~ ~

February 23, 2006
The Cave

2165 Lucretia Ave.
San Jose, CA 95122

A Black Rose Burial (headlining)
Choke on Your Lies
My Hand the General
11 Minutes
Assailing Traitor Skies
Memoirs of the Dead
A Boy and His Gun

6pm / All Ages / $8

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There's no sunlight in my cubicle... [04 Feb 2006|03:44am]
[ mood | drained & discontent ]

I think i forgot about LJ.

Tonight was our Scars of Tomorrow show. The expected attendance was supposed to be 300-400 people. There was only 115. Lame. Our last show was local and drew in 160. We even had more of a draw than Scars of Tomorrow. Odd beating out an MTV2 band. Five bands and we came in second as far as a head count. Know what that means? Means that in the Summer we're getting a show with Under-ehhh... Wait. Nevermind. Can't tell. That's supposed to be a secret for now. :-D

Tonight was kind of a good and bad night all rolled into one... After our set, my mind started to kinda drift and i spent a lot of time alone at our merch stand watching people and thinking. Thinking about things totally unrelating to anything or anyone at the venue... Then my vocalist wanted to fight me in the parking lot, and at that point, i was just drained and ready to go home. Came home and drank a cocktail and ate dinner and then laid in bed and watched TV. Then Laleh-pop called me at 2:15am and we had a good talk, just being able to vent to one another about our night... I needed that.

Things could be better...

4 comments|post comment

[28 Jan 2006|06:07am]
Public MySpace blog instead of an LJ tonight. That'll be all. Goodnight...
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February 18th-25th... [27 Jan 2006|01:25am]
[ mood | bored ]

I'll have the house to myself for that week. I'm gonna need company... I'll supply the drink and horror movies. You supply the company...

I'll also be home alone this weekend... Lets do stuff.

2 comments|post comment

attn: Monica... [25 Jan 2006|02:12am]
When you're all done moving into your new place, we have to go out for another tattoo day. My arm is getting itchy!
2 comments|post comment

The soirée... [24 Jan 2006|09:00pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Lets see... What's new...

Um... The band got an invite to be in a movie. The movie that one of our old songs is in. It's coming out this Spring in theatres. It's based out of FL. They wanted to have a show with extras in the crowd, unfortunately... this is FL we're talking about. Yeah... No.

Ironically, a promotion company out of FL is putting one of our songs onto 200 CD's as a compilation with other hardcore bands. 100 of which are going to be given out at the FL Throwdown, Still Remains, A Dozen Furies show, and the other 100 are gonna be given out at the FL Taste of Chaos Tour with Deftones, As I Lay Dying, Thrice, Dredg, etc... Me likey FL. Good peoples.

We're really trying to make a conscious effort to do this Summer tour with From a Second Story Window and Burn the Shroud. I don't know which coast it'd be on, but i guess there's still a lot of things to discuss with all bands...

Confessing your feelings and interest in someone TO that someone is hard, but i did it. I feel better... Weight off my back.

That'll be all. Thank you...

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"Olöf... BERZERKER!" [21 Jan 2006|04:29am]
[ mood | lonely ]

I just got through watching Clerks for the first time in a long time, and im on a kick with what movie right now. The whole sucking of 37 dicks, and Olöf acting out his metal band... hahahaha.

I now have 11 bottles of hard liquor, and it just sits there. I don't drink alone, and i never have people over anymore. Some of it has been aged for 30 years cause my Mom just got it from my sisters Grandma and she bought it back in the 70's or something. It's great. Some of it they don't even make anymore...

From a Second Story Window asked if we would want to do a Summer tour with them this year... That gave me an instant hard-on...

I wrote a good blog tonight for people that are up for a decent, but lengthy read. You just might learn something... It relates to some of you.

I'm lonely. I just wanna cuddle up and watch a good movie and pass out... "Bad touch" is optional, but probably inevitable.

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[16 Jan 2006|02:30pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Lately things have been good... Not much to say though... Saturday's show was amazing. One of the most fun and gratifying shows i've had in a long time. The crowd made it so worth while. All the kids knew the lyrics and sang along and piled up in front of the stage. The dancers the breakdowns. Random guys and girls were hugging me afterwards saying we're they're new favorite band. It's so flattering and every time i question the band, that snaps me out of it. It was probably the most i felt a show and got into it. There was a good 170 kids at the Cave for it... They want us back once or twice a month now.

This next show with Scars of Tomorrow will be 400-500+ kids though, easily... More than anything, im waiting for the Pound show though...

Friday, Feb. 3rd
The Cave

Scars of Tomorrow
A Black Rose Burial
2 more TBA...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tuesday, Feb. 21st
The Pound

Through the Eyes of the Dead
Ed Gein
The Number 12 Looks Like You
A Black Rose Burial
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Red flags and long nights... [11 Jan 2006|03:17am]
[ mood | giggly ]

Things are good...
Feelings are good...
Feelings towards some people are "eh." Feelings towards others are "weeeeee!". Make sense? Does to me and that's all that matters...
As far as friends. I try so so so hard to please everyone and be there when you need me, or someone in general, but please don't use me up and drain me and make me feel like shit when i need someone. It's not fun, and it doesn't represent you well. I'd like to think i deserve a little more respect and effort in return. If we're friends, then is this something out of line for me to request? I just wanna make people happy, but i wanna be happy too. Don't abandon me when i need you.

I go in this week to get my sleeve drawn up. I couldn't be more excited about this... Ink. Can't wait...

In February, we have a couple national shows set up. I think we'll be doing the Scars of Tomorrow show at the Cave. Mike from SOT e-mailed me today saying he wants us on and is calling the Cave requesting us. Then we have the show at the Pound on Feb. 21st which im fucking ecstatic about. Apparently bands from the Jan. 21st Pound show are requesting us as well, which we haven't played with since we did our SoCal show in 2003. Things are good...

We headline the Blank Club this Friday the 13th. I'm not too hot on the show. We co-headline the Cave on Saturday. I'm more "yay!" over that show. Should be a lot of kids. Dance crews will be in full effect. Since the release of our album, kids know the songs by heart now and there'll probably be some good sing alongs. I'm looking forward to it immensely.

We might actually be getting a media guy in the band, finally. The 4 of us just can't handle the amount of media and digital stuff we're doing live. It's intense. This kid really wants in and does some heavy promotion for us on MySpace. He's a cute lil fashioncore asian kid. Apparently he's a great keyboardist, and has all this extremely expensive gear. We'd end up with two grand keyboards onstage, two samplers rather than the one we have now. Plus, we'd have a laptop on stage as a 5th media tool, and run stuff through that to do even more. I think it'd be pretty amazing. Our setup time is going to be ridiculous though.

Ok. That is all...

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[06 Jan 2006|02:10pm]
[ mood | sick and miserable ]

So i caught that "Santa Clara/Silicon Valley" virus. It's supposed to be really bad and hits you extremely hard. My temp. has been pretty consistant and fluctuating around 104 degrees. Not fun. I'm either burning up and sweating, or im freezing and can't get warm enough. I sleep for like 13 hours at a time, yet i wake up every 15 minutes cause im all tossey-turney. I haven't been this sick in a long long time. My worry is that it supposedly lasts 2-3 weeks, and i just caught it Wednesday, and i have two shows next Friday and Saturday. It's stressing me out... I can hardly move. :-(

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New pics... The Killers made me a winner... Computer problems... [03 Jan 2006|01:54am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

There's new pics on my MySpace. I have like 10 new pics, but im not putting them all up. Your problem...

Went bowling tonight with my favorite bitches. I kept losing cause i drank too much early on, but i won the last game. Why? Cause the Killers came on blasting... Then what? 3 strikes... Gah... Everyone started instigating me once the song came on.

I have to apologize to anyone and everyone that have tried IMing me in the last 2-3 days. My computer is REALLY bad. My power went out the other day, and ever since, for some reason, my computer is just retarded. It freezes when i get too many IM's. Sometimes i have no idea who IM's. I restart, but you guys don't know that i restarted, so to you it looks like im avoiding you, which isn't the case. If i don't IM within 2 minutes, it's safe to say that's what happened. Try IMing again. If im away for more then 2 minutes my away message will be on, ok? I promise. It freezes ALL the time, so just bare with me... I'm sorry. I feel like an asshole. When i have my away message on, sometimes i get a horde of IM's and when i come back, they all pop up at once and i never get to see who IMed... Keep trying. My OCD eats me up when i don't know who it was that IMed and im left feeling like a jerk for not replying. I'm not avoiding ANYONE... Sorry. :-\

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Holding yester-year for ransom... [02 Jan 2006|12:43pm]
[ mood | nostalgic / reminiscing ]

Glad the holidays are over. Everything is so fast paced and hectic during those last 2 weeks. I remember exactly how 2005 had started. It was terrible for me, emotionally. I hope this year isn't as bad. I hope to find what im looking for...

As gloomy as it is, im liking this weather. Stay away from SF or any place up north, or 101 for that matter. The highways are like rivers. My Mom went to SF and regretted it. The paper said this is a "once in every 10 years" storm for Northern CA. My cousin drove down here from up north for the holidays and it took her 23 hours and she said she'd never do it again. Stay in your beds!

Our show this coming Saturday in Salinas was canceled. The venue said that when we play there, more things get broken than for what it's worth, and they are reconsidering the genre of music they allow there. haha. I guess if your show is gonna be canceled, that's a flattering reason, that your fans bring down the house... As much as i hate canceled shows, we gained one in the end. We play this Friday the 13th headlining the Blank Club for a "Midnight Massacre" event that i think Powerslave is putting on, but the following day on the 14th:

A Black Rose Burial

Ugh... Two cups of coffee too many. I'm all tweeky. I should do laundry and clean up my room a little. It looks like a disaster area...
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[29 Dec 2005|10:57pm]
[ mood | icky poo ]

I'm a year older...
I'm not looking forward to New Years. I shall be sitting alone at home that night, im sure. A night for people to do stupid shit they'll regret the following day...
I'm bored in more ways than one. I know what that means. You don't...

A Black Rose Burial
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Right face, wrong time... [26 Dec 2005|12:39pm]
[ mood | bored i guess... ]

I'm glad Christmas is over... Yesterday was stressing me out. I ended up falling asleep cause i was so tired, and then i wake up to discover everyone already exchnged gifts and no one cared to knock on my door and inform me. Nice... Now i just have to make it through tomorrow. Ugh!

I remodeled my closet a tad. It consists of Jim Beam, Jager, Disaronno, Makers Mark, and 4 small bottles of flavored vodkas. I think im gonna take up a collection. I still need some Peach Schnapps, Grey Goose, and Kahlua, and i think i'll be set. Bah! I'm not much of a drinker these days, but it is nice to have options. I just need to not drink alone like i used to...

Now, with the amount of money i have, do i go get my sleeve, do i get a cell phone, do i put a down payment on a car, or do i go get band equipment i've been wanting? I hate making decisions. Knowing me, i'll make the wrong one and do what benefits me the least. That's the fun part!

Today the power went out, and all i wanted was 1 piece of pizza, so... i went out in the rain, started the BBQ and cooked it on the grill while in my PJ's getting rained on. That was very me.

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[23 Dec 2005|08:23am]
Got a big plan, this mindset maybe its right
At the right place and right time, maybe tonight
And the whisper or handshake sending a sign
Wanna make out and kiss hard, wait nevermind

Late night, and passing, mention it flipped her
Best friend, who knows saying maybe it slipped
But the slip turns to terror and a crush to light
Then she walks in, maybe it's the fright

Its cute in a way, till you cannot speak
And you leave to have a cigarette, your knees get weak
An escape is just a nod and a casual wave
Obsessed about it, heavy for the next two days

It's only just a crush, it'll go away
It's just like all the others it'll go away
Or maybe this is danger and you just don't know
You pray it all away but it continues to grow

I want to hold you close
Skin pressed against me tight
Lie still, and close your eyes girl
So lovely, it feels so right

I want to hold you close
Soft breasts, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear
I want to fucking tear you apart

Then he walked up and told her, thinking that he'd passed
And they talked and looked away a lot, doing the dance
Her hand brushed up against his, she left it there
Told him how she felt and then they locked in a stare

They took a step back, thought about it, what should they do
Cause theres always repercussions when you're dating in school
But their lips met, and reservations started to pass
Whether this was just an evening or a thing that would last

Either way he wanted her and this was bad
He wanted to do things to her it was making him crazy
Now a little crush turned into a like
And now he wants to grab her by the hair and tell her

I want to hold you close
Skin pressed against me tight
Lie still, and close your eyes girl
So lovely, it feels so right

I want to hold you close
Soft breasts, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear
I want to fucking tear you apart
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Time for more ink... [22 Dec 2005|04:20am]
[ mood | I smell excited... ]

I've made an official decision that im actually extremely excited about. What's the best thing to do when you need a release? Yes, get tattoos. I've decided that with the amount of money i currently have, im gonna finally do what's long overdo and get one of my sleeves done. At least outlined for now. It's definately going to be very "horror" themed. Not gruesome and stuff i'll regret, but well, you'll see. I'm fond of bright tattoos as well, and for the horror look, i've always wanted greens, yellows, purples, and black/grey blended together, and there'll definately be bats involved. haha. I never knew if i wanted to do both arms, but one for sure. Right or left? I'm favoring my right i think... So im gonna go and talk to Ron at New Skool sometime before New Years i think and discuss the art with him and see when i can get in. This will be my Christmas/Birthday present to myself. :-)

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[21 Dec 2005|10:26pm]
[ mood | hurt ]

After this morning, i don't know how to feel about the human species in general. I don't know how to comprehend it...

Tomorrow i have to wake up and do a phone interview for a magazine.

We've been asked if we want to take part in a West Coast tour, so i need to see if the band is up for it... Also been invited to the East Coast as part of another tour.

The label we always hoped for is looking more promising every day.

I just need to get out of here.

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[21 Dec 2005|06:00am]
[ mood | suicidal ]

sing about love so they will care...

Correction... [19 Dec 2005|06:48pm]
[ mood | sickly ]

I'm really sick from everything and lack of sleep. Me just trying to talk on the phone was a challenge. I kept grabbing and feeling my face and feeling like there was hair on me. I finally fell asleep for 3 hours. I'm still so tired though. My hands are shakey. I weighed myself again cause now im obsessed, and even since this morning, i seriously lost 2 more pounds. That's 3 pounds in just 1 day... I can't hardly type without making constant typos. I'm retiring this post.

2 comments|post comment

[19 Dec 2005|10:37am]
[ mood | surprised ]

On another note, i just weighed myself. Im happy that i've lost 8 more pounds since last Monday. Now im for sure gonna be even more strict with myself. 8 pounds a week is good. More than a pound a day. Right now im sleep deprived, emotional, and i feel gacked outta my mind. I have dark circles under my eyes and i tripped on the stairs and i walk like im drunk.

This is gonna be fun.

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